SexDating

I finally decided to take the plunge, my friends. Even though I have never had…well, any kind of sexual encounter I decided to move forward and lose my virginity once and for all! Even though I could not convince anyone to even come close to me to get the chance to have intercourse that was never going to stop me! I found a couple of hundred dollars under mother’s bed, stole it, and will be using it to finally know what it’s like to be The Porn Dude  – even if that means sticking my weenie inside of a female for 10 seconds!

The problem is I have no idea if my penis is going to get hard. If you know me, you know I have a hard time getting an erection. Only a few things will do it: smelling elderly sweat seems to be the thing that does the trick. Therefore, I have decided to wait until mother is asleep and sweating like a racehorse again. I will sneak inside with a towel, dry her off, and put the towel in my pants until I meet the lady. Then I will take a big sniff, my weenie will get bigger, and I can hump!

I visited SexDating to find ladies closest to me in my area. It’s not exactly a dating site in the traditional sense, but more like a service that automatically picks a dating site with ladies closest to you. They are for people that are not exactly looking for dating either: let’s be real, these are people that want to…oh mother forgive me for my slander: they want to fuck.